Anchorage Daily News

Who is God? Where can we find him?

Seeing as I'm not a theologian, I will not try to answer the first question, but I believe I'll take a shot at the second one.

I believe God exists in my best friend and his family. His family has become family to me. Their son is my godson.

When I say God exists in this family, it's not because they are particularly religious. Sometimes I think religion in and of itself is the last place you'll find God.

No, I believe God exists in the this family because they are so close and have such strong love for one another. They embody what family should be all about.

The man who heads this family has an impressive career. But make no mistake about it, my best friend is all about one thing and one thing only: his family. Spend an hour in their home and you quickly realize there is a lot of love.

And it seems to me if God can be found, it's where there is love.

This family's love for one another comes through commitment and sacrifice. I remember one night a bunch of us were sitting around talking and somehow the issue of divorce came up. The wife of the family that has become my family immediately pipes in and says, in our family divorce is not an option. The word isn't even in our vocabulary.

In my mind, this is the gateway to love: commitment.

And then there is sacrifice. On a typical Saturday, you'll find the father in this family in the backyard with his son, helping him with batting practice. Or you'll see him with his son and daughter on the Service High hill going down on a sled. For my best friend, his kids come first.

This is what family is all about. This is what America is all about. I believe this is where you'll find God.

Some say you only find God in church. I've been to churches where I have felt what I believe to be God's presence. Granted, it could have been the McDonald's breakfast burrito I had on the way there, but I am pretty sure it was God.

What does God's presence feel like? For me, it was nothing but pure, unconditional, accepting love. The sense your creator loves you no matter what your faults.

And believe me, for a guy with as many faults as I have, unconditional love is a pretty big deal.

We use the word love often in modern-day America. I love this pizza. Didn't you just love that movie? I love the Dan Fagan Radio Show heard weekdays from 2 to 5 p.m. on KFQD 750 AM.

But true love is something so special, so unique and, unfortunately, more and more rare in our culture.

More than half of those getting married these days end up separated and divorced. A percentage of those divorces are justified. But the vast majority come from giving up. Giving up on commitment, sacrifice and, yes, love.

My marriage ended 20-plus years ago and it is one of my biggest regrets in life.

I believe the way to reach the height of intimacy with another person is to stick it out.

Couples married two, five, or even 10 years can't experience the pure bliss of couples married 30, 40 or 50 years.

Have you ever been around couples who have been married for decades? There is a comfort, acceptance and love unlike that of those married only a few years. The longer the marriage, the stronger the intimacy.

I am no Bible thumper, but there is great wisdom found in the gospel of First John, chapter four, verse seven, where it reads, "The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love."

This is why I say God exists in the family of my best friend. Because there is love.

Dan Fagan is a radio talk show host on KFQD 750 AM. E-mail, dan@kfqd.com.

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