Free helicopter flights! See the city lights from on high!

Here's how you do it:

Wander off the trail in Chugach State Park. Pull out your cell phone. Dial 911 to report you're lost.

Then, just sit back and wait. A whirlybird will show up shortly to give you a lift.

Nothing against rescuing anyone, but this scenario is starting to develop way too often in this the age of ubiquitous cell phones and rare woodcraft. Most of you are probably unaware, because most of these rescues go unreported.

There is a legitimate reason for that. Most of them are as insignificant as they are costly.

Somebody gets lost close to a trail. They call for help. Park rangers, Anchorage Police, Anchorage firefighters, Alaska State Troopers and volunteers from the Alaska Mountain Rescue Group scramble.

The lost individual is found. They are fine. Everyone goes home.

"It's not very newsworthy'' as one park ranger observed of a rescue that took place last week.

No, no it's not.

It's just an unseen drain on money and human resources.

Granted, Hillside rescues might be a welcome relief for firefighters, who spend significant parts of their lives hanging around firehouses waiting for something, anything, to happen. But Anchorage police, state troopers and Chugach State Park rangers already have more things to do than they have time.

They don't really need to be tied up rescuing people who shouldn't need to be rescued. Or maybe these people do need to be rescued. You decide.

Here's the complete trooper press release explaining a representative rescue that happened last week on the Anchorage Hillside:

"Early in the evening on Monday, Jan. 26, Marie Sussek was walking her dog near Flattop Mountain located on the edge of Anchorage. She soon realized she had lost the path in the darkness, was getting cold and needed help. She used her cell phone to call for assistance and a ground search involving Anchorage Police Department, Anchorage Fire Department EMS and Alaska State Parks was initiated.

"At about 5:40 p.m., APD contacted the Department of Public Safety and requested assistance from Alaska State Trooper Helo-1 to help locate the lost hiker. With the temperature well below freezing, helicopter pilot Alaska Wildlife Trooper John Chiri and volunteer spotter Scott Horacek launched in Helo-1 and headed for Chugach State Park.

"Conditions were right for a nighttime aerial search; the sky was clear and the starlight increased the effectiveness of the night vision goggles.

" 'We could see people walking all over the place. We were going from light to light trying to figure out which person was lost,' Chiri said.

"After about 15 minutes of sweeping the mountain, one light finally stood out. Horacek and Chiri saw a light being waved around by a person below. It was obvious to them that it was a signal and the person intended for them to land. The man that was waving the light happened upon the cold women and gave her his coat while he signaled for help.

"Chiri and Horachek transported Sussek and her dog to the Flattop recreational area parking lot where she was checked out and cleared by medical personnel on scene.

"After the rescue Trooper Chiri commented: 'This is the kind of search and rescues I like -- very quick recovery.'

"The Department of Public Safety is very appreciative to the agencies that helped in this search and to the Good Samaritan that took the time to help a person in need."

Everyone should be happy Sussek was found safely and guided back to civilization. I know I am.

I've been lost. It's unsettling. Some might say frightening.

And I certainly don't want to embarrass some poor woman who got scared and called for help, but someone needs to ask: Whatever happened to the idea of personal responsibility?

Rangers said Sussek got lost after she left one of the trails leading out of the Upper Huffman parking lot to go snowshoeing through the woods.

Nothing wrong with that, but if you're uncomfortable finding you way around in the woods, shouldn't you stay on the trail?

And if you are going to go roaming around in the woods and risk getting lost, shouldn't you take at least minimal survival gear -- say, maybe, an extra layer or two of clothing, a headlamp, a water bottle, a couple energy bars and some matches?

There are a lot of dead spruce trees up around the Huffman trail head. If you got lost, it would be very easy to make a fire, sit down by it, warm up and decide what to do next.

Of course, it's quite probable you wouldn't have to decide anything, because the fire would attract somebody. Either some other hiker would come to investigate the smoke, or someone would call the Anchorage Fire Department and a firefighter would show up on a snowmachine.

Then you could get a snowmachine ride back to your car. I don't begrudge anyone getting a snowmachine ride. Snowmachines are cheap to operate; helicopters are expensive. And the expense should be an issue of concern to everyone given troopers' limited budget for search-and-rescue operations.

Don't we all bear some responsibility to see that money is saved for truly necessary operations?

OK, maybe this one was truly necessary. I'll leave that to each of you to decide. Sussek obviously thought it necessary. I wanted to talk to her about that, but she has no phone number available. She is reportedly new to the state and got lost wandering in circles looking to find her tracks to follow them back to where she began.

This is not the way you escape the Anchorage Hillside. Look downhill, and you will see a lot of city lights. Walk toward the lights and within minutes you will stumble into homes. Go to one; knock on the door; explain your problem; and ask if you can warm up.

Or, if that's too embarrassing, note the name of the first street you stumble onto and call a friend to come get you there.

Or, maybe, just start yelling for help as soon as you decide you are lost. On any given evening, as the troopers noted, there are people skiing, snowshoeing, hiking, mountain biking, dog walking or just plain hanging out all over the upper Hillside. Sussek, it's worth noting, did yell, according to a park ranger. That's how the so-called good Samaritan found her.

The man had earlier been stopped by firefighters on snowmachines who asked if he'd seen a lost snowshoer. He hadn't. But having been alerted to be on the lookout, he kept his ears open as the snowmachines roared off.

He heard yelling and went to assist. Why the man and Sussek didn't just walk back to the trail head is unclear, although a ranger said the efficiency of the helicopter played a part. A helicopter is the easy way to grab someone and deliver them to the Glen Alps trail head.

That's where waited the trooper who had to drive in from Girdwood to coordinate the search and rescue. He was at Glen Alps because he was directed to the "upper'' parking lot in the park.

Glen Alps is above Upper Huffman on the Hillside. The two are connected by trail. There is a map available from the park.

If you snowshoe, ski or otherwise recreate in this area, it might be a good idea to get a copy and study it so you don't get lost and become the subject of a trooper press release sure to make a lot of reasonable people ponder the question of whether the time has come to start charging for rescues in Alaska.

Personally, I've never been a fan of that idea. I've always thought search and rescue should be one of those public services -- like policing or fire protection -- provided in the interest of public safety. But I'm starting to wonder.

The old year ended with an Alaska State Trooper and a former trooper calling for a helicopter because they were running low on gas for their snow machines along the Susitna River. The new year is beginning with a woman calling for a helicopter because she's lost between the many Hillside trails with the city lights of Anchorage clearly visible just a short hike below.

What next? Maybe someone gets lost and calls for a rescue in Kincaid or Russian Jack parks?

Find Craig Medred online at adn.com/contact/cmedred or call 257-4588.

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