It's dark. It's cold. It's blah. Another winter — so far a pretty snowless one — has arrived in Anchorage. And with it, countless residents have turned into binge-watching, soup-eating winter hibernators burrowed into their blankets and couches. Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?
In a recent column, "My girlfriend turned into a different person once winter set in" (Nov. 11), a boyfriend wrote Wanda and Wayne concerned about his girlfriend's sudden winter inactivity. She said she was happy just being cozy indoors; he thought she might be depressed and that his winter of fun was turning into a funk. Wanda and Wayne were both worried and suggested everything from cross-country skiing to SAD lights to greenhouse visits and tropical vacations. W&W's faithful readers, however, provided dozens of different perspectives on social media.
Many let Wanda, Wayne and the boyfriend know that they were flat out wrong and that hibernating is the best way to survive Alaska's winters.
"Stop trying to change people to fit your lifestyle and you will find yourself in a long-lasting relationship. 'Wanda & Wayne' obviously can't help you if they suggest ripping her out of her comfort zone into a medically-induced 'joy' while basking in fake blue sad lights." – Jeffrey
"I disagree with Wanda & Wayne … she's lived here several years – she's happy with her 'winter mode' & you shouldn't try to change her. She'd be better off without you anyway." – Chitchat
[Alaska's daylight is dwindling. Here are 24 tips for surviving the wintertime blues.]
"Every person who chooses to hole up for the winter is not deserving of the label of depressed or deficient. If you truly care, do not pressure her and maybe re-examine why you're dating? A girlfriend should not exist to prevent your boredom or to be your personal SAD light/band-aid for the winter! … I camped, kayak guided, glacier trekked, summited mtns and trail ran 6+ miles almost every day this summer. Now I spend most of my time at home with a good book. I do not feel depressed at all, I'm actually very happy and at peace. Winter and darkness for me is a time to recharge and slow down from the constant activity the rest of the year." – Jenny
"I have lived in Alaska over thirty years and love hibernation time. I do tons of indoor stuff that I put off all summer. … What a crappy fickle man." – Ony
"Do you blame her? It's cold outside lol." – Krystal
"Husband said I needed a winter (sport). I picked knitting." – Heather
Many saw this situation as truly sad/SAD – emotionally and mentally.
"Sounds like seasonal depression disorder. Which I know too well." – Andromeda
"SAD is a very real disorder, if it seems to be a months-long cycle and not just lazy days in every once in a while, help is definitely an option worth seeking." – Megan
"The symptoms described are consistent with a vitamin D deficiency which is very common in the northern latitudes. Most residents of Russia, Canada, Alaska, etc. are vitamin D deficient. The solution is fairly cheap, and easy. Take quality vitamin D daily — in significant quantity (not just a single pill). Then get tested to measure your vitamin D level and adjust the dosage accordingly." – Researchers
"And that is why I changed my location. 35 years of cold and dark, no thank you." – Jolynn
"Exactly why I can't do dark winters. Took about 12 years to bother me. A psychologist told me it's a cumulative effect." – Amy
Others cut to the chase like a downtown Anchorage winter breeze cutting through a thin jacket.
"Round peg, square hole. Move on." – Amylou
"Dump her and find someone more like you." – Nohman
"Dear girlfriend, Ditch your guy cause he seems to be more into his social status than you. Sincerely, Me." – Krista
"If she likes to be inside let her be inside! Go do your thing then go cozy up with her!" – Jenn
"That means it's time to make some babies." – Roger
One shared a small-town Alaska angle.
"A classic problem in Cordova that causes divorces and separations." – Jay
A couple of cross-country skiers, like Wayne, recommended skating and striding out her blues.
"I am just as active in the winter in Alaska … I go skiing. … Dress right and there are plenty of things to do. … In other words live life to the full!"– Adrianna
[Related: Ward off the winter weirds with vitamin D, good food — and coffee]
"XC skiing. It's helped me cope with the winters and kept me from getting fat. I believe exercise helps with mental health too, but that's not my bailiwick." – Jonathan
And even a few greenhouse lovers, like Wanda, warmed up to her idea.
"This was a helpful article, I've been in both those positions and it's good to communicate, respect (where) your partner stands and know there are options like SAD lights. Will have to check out the greenhouse next time I'm in Anchorage." – Jay
"Wanda, the Mann Leiser Memorial Greenhouse is a wonderful place to take people to. Suffering from SAD or not, seeing living things like that in the winter will lift your spirit, and give you ideas of what to do next spring. Good suggestion!" – Michael
Need some advice on love and life? Have some feedback for the relationship experts? Contact Wanda and Wayne at wanda@alaskadispatch.com.