Dear Wayne and Wanda,
My girlfriend read an article about “quaran-teaming.” Basically, it’s when people who live alone team up and quarantine together so they aren’t bored out of their minds.
Well now my girlfriend is all about this. We live together in a small house and we do have two extra — very small — rooms which are both full of stuff. One has a futon, one is more an office.
Her two best girlfriends are both single and both live alone in small apartments. My girlfriend wants them to come stay with us, after reading that article. She insists it’s safe because we’ll quarantine together. I have several reservations.
For starters, her friends are OK, but in small doses. The idea of living with all those women 24/7 — nope! Second, one of them is still going into work at a grocery store, and I just don’t feel safe having her stay with us. Third, our place is just small. We would have no privacy.
My girlfriend says I am being extremely selfish in a time when I should be putting people first. We have been fighting about this a lot. I really don’t want to give in on this. Advice?
Wow, people are really taking this “we’re all in this together” mantra to a new level. The truth about living in the age of COVID-19 is, it can be pretty lame. People are canceling vacations and weddings. Teenagers are missing prom and graduation ceremonies. There are no sports, for crying out loud. And yes, people are alone and very, very bored.
Your concerns are valid, and certainly it adds a layer of infection risk if you guys are currently able to hunker down but would allow in a new household member who goes into the public daily. That said, your own mental wellness and happiness is just as important. When we enter a relationship, we agree to prioritizing our partner, and that in itself is all the reason why your lady needs to drop this “quaran-team” concept and focus on the most important team, which is the two of you.
If she wants to spend time with her gals, school her up on Zoom or FaceTime. If she’s worried about their solitude, hey, maybe the two of them can quaran-team together! But I’m solidly with you on this one. You need to protect the health and balance of your relationship, not to mention your own sanity. This is not the time to acquire roommates; it’s the time to ride out the lameness, safely, and in some cases, solo.
Yeah, this is quarantining not slumber-partying. If your girlfriend truly believes that it’s more important to put other people’s comfort ahead of her — and your! — health, how about she moves in with her gal pals instead of bringing their germs, luggage, baggage and everything else into your life and living space?
Look, we’re all missing our friends and families right now, not to mention our favorite dining and drinking spots, gyms, concerts, games, etc. Some people are struggling with all the changes, distancing, isolation and anxiety. And I’m all for helping your fellow humans in this trying time, but there are so many safer, more practical and more impactful ways to do it than having two friends move in because they’re maybe lonely.
It would be one thing if her friends had respective condo fires and were suddenly homeless or even if their hot water heater went out or something. But this is not reasonable or even rational considering the importance of guarding our own health and respecting the health of others during a pandemic. If they are really lonely, here’s an idea: How about the two single friends quaran-team as a duo and leave your home team alone?
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