FLOP ZONE . . . Really, darlings, The Divine Appendage can't leave you alone for a minute without all kinds of earishness breaking out. Isn't Joe Miller fabulous? He's shaping up to replace d'Ear Don as Ear's all-time favorite candidate -- a richer vein of ear items than John Lindauer, who was a regular gold mine.
One of the best discussions of Cuffgate so far was on Shannyn Moore's Channel 5 TV show Saturday. She interviewed Tony Hopfinger and then let three smart-mouths comment: Tom Brennan (right), Eric Croft (left) and Craig Medred (Medred). Craig noted that a West Point grad who has to hire goons to protect him from reporters is "an embarrassment to the U.S. Military Academy." If Miller really feels the need for protection from Alaskans in a school, suggested Brennan, he should get "a large lady who's got a voice like your mother on steroids." At this point, the Omniscient Orifice has only one question left: Who was talking to those blazered-up moonlighting soldiers on their little earpieces, the ones with the curly white wires? Their boss, William F. Fulton, was in the room with them, so who was whispering what in their ears?
FLYING FACTOID . . . In case you were wondering, the "F" in William F. Fulton's name stands for "Foxfire" (although he signs his paranoid militia rantings online as "Dropzone Bill").
Really. Ear couldn't make this stuff up.
VERBATIM . . . Check out this ad, which ran last month in the classified section of the Frontiersman newspaper: "If anyone knows Sarah Palin please tell her that Colorado needs her help. We need her help in the Governor's race for Dan Maes and Congressional race for Stephen Bailey. We know of no other way to get in touch with her." Nosy Ear called the number listed and talked to Bob Foley, a tea party organizer ("The 9-12 Project") in the Vail Valley down there. Bob said his group has tried everything to reach Our Sarah -- e-mail, Facebook and calls to the Tea Party Express. No dice.
They would have tried Twitter too, he said, but, well, no one in the group tweets. Perhaps Todd or Ivy or Bristol could pass along a message?
NEW WORDS, OLD SONG . . . This is an earwig's rendition of his recent conversation with an Outsider:
Outsider: So, you're on the same time as California.
Me: No. We're ...
Outsider: So, you're on Hawaii time ...
Me: No. We're on Alaska time, which is in between California and Hawaii. We're ...
Outsider: Oh, so you're 3.5 hours behind EST.
ON THE MOVE . . . between Seattle and Alaska, Cathy Allen, an Outside political consultant who started her career in Alaska running one of Tony Knowles' early campaigns (a winning one). Cathy, who specializes in getting women elected -- usually Democrats -- is currently working for Republican Lisa Murkowski's write-in effort. She said she and Lisa have been friends since Lisa ran a Joe Hayes campaign against Knowles.
BIG KUDOS . . . Time magazine has named Rachel Kleinfeld as one of the nation's top 40 under 40. Rachel is the daughter of federal judge Andrew Kleinfeld and Dr. Judith Kleinfeld, UAF psychology professor and ADN columnist.
To quote Time: "Born and raised in a log cabin in Alaska, Kleinfeld, 34, started workshops for young progressives on national-security issues after watching John Kerry lose to George W. Bush in 2004. Her goal: to prove that Democrats can articulate strong and sensible alternatives to GOP defense policies. Who is your political hero/inspiration? Harry Truman, of course. . . ."
UNALASKA POLICE BEAT . . . Some recent examples of Sgt. Jennifer Shockley's work. Shockley writes what is surely the best-read police blotter in the country.
10/14/10 Thu 02:24 Disorderly Conduct -- Drunken crew members of two vessels from the quasi-reality show Deadliest Catch squared off against each other in the lobby of the Grand Aleutian hotel. Those interviewed claimed "bad blood" between the two vessels had instigated the altercation.
10/14/10 Thu 3:17 Suspicious Person/Activity -- Individual reported peculiar noises outside a nearby residence. When the officer arrived, the caller indicated he had called because he thought the officer needed something to do. An officer investigated the area and found no indication of anything requiring the attention of the police.
10/15/10 Fri 16:40 Traffic Crime -- A Chevy Blazer impeded traffic in front of the PCR by repeatedly starting and stopping. An officer was unable to locate the vehicle, suggesting it finally ceased stopping repeatedly.
Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Message Sheila at ear@adn.com. Find Ear online at www.adn.com/ear.