If you have the means to clone yourself, this is the time to do it.
There are so many cool concerts, exhibits and excuses for revelry going on in the next few days that you'd need at least three of you to catch it all.
Comedy, country and classical music, pub crawling, monster killing and much more will fill the coming days.
Perhaps this burst of activity is a cosmic distraction from the fact that summer is gone, or maybe everyone just accidentally scheduled everything at the same time.
Whatever it is, we invite you to peruse our roundup and make some decisions about how much merriment you and your clones can manage.
Country music queen Miranda Lambert rides her Highway Vagabond Tour into town next week. Expect to hear several tracks from the multiple Grammy Award-winning artist's most recent album "The Weight of These Wings," which addresses her breakup with Blake Shelton. 7:30 p.m. Monday, Sullivan Arena, 1600 Gambell St. $32-$412. (sullivan.arenaanchorage.com)
Pirate Pub Crawl
A bottle of rum, a bottle of Sprite, it all depends upon you and your matey's appetite. The annual Anchorage Pirate Pub Crawl kicks off at Town Square Park and proceeds to 14 participating pubs, including 49th State Brewing Co., Avenue Bar, Mad Myrna's, Williwaw and Sullivan's Steakhouse. Get your band of pirates together for a group photo, then get your map for the evening and collect stamps to win Alaska Airlines miles. 7 p.m.-midnight Friday. Start at Town Square Park, 544 W. Fifth Ave., or any participating venue. Suggested donation to Blood Bank of Alaska. (anchoragepiratepubcrawl.org)
Yes, it's still September, but it's never too early for Oktoberfest! Events kick off this week with an Oktober Bluesfest at Spenard's Route 33 on Saturday. According to organizers, nine live bands will play under a heated circus tent over the course of 12 hours. Music acts Joey Fender, Bill Carter and Sue Foley, Rick Brooks, Blues Core, Rich Kinney, Taylor Caldwell and the Eternal Cowboys will be joined by Alaska Fire Circus, face painters and German craft vendors. 1-11:45 p.m. Saturday, Route 33, 3300 Spenard Road. Tickets are $8-$20 in advance, $25 at the door (children under 6 are free). This event is for 21 and over after 10:30 p.m. (oktoberbluesfest.brownpapertickets.com)
You can do the Deutsch thing in Girdwood, if you prefer. The Sitzmark will have German bands, brews and bratwurst for two weekends, and as a bonus the drive couldn't be prettier. 4-11 p.m. Friday and Saturday and Sept. 29-30 at 100 Olympic Circle. (thesitzmark.com).
If you still haven't gotten your fill of oompah, lederhosen and chicken dance, the big German Club to-do will be Oct. 6-7 in downtown Anchorage (search "Anchorage Oktoberfest" on Facebook for details.) That weekend there will also be an "Oxtoberfest" celebration at the Musk Ox Farm in Palmer, which will feature German music, local food and craft beers. Starts at 4:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 7, at 12850 E. Archie Road, Palmer. $50, includes dinner. (muskoxfarm.org/oxtoberfest)
Anchorage Design Weekend
Innovators and experts in the world of design will converge on Anchorage for a weekend of discussions, workshops and events focusing on places, trends and ideas from the tiny house movement to an exploration of the Fairview neighborhood. 10 a.m.-11 p.m. Friday; 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Saturday; 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Sunday, Anchorage Museum. 625 C St. $20-$50. (anchoragemuseum.org)
She Kills Monsters
It's slaytime at Cyrano's. The debut show at Cyrano's new DeBarr Road venue is a daring dive into the world of Dungeons and Dragons, filled with sword fights, breathtaking beasts and plenty of girl power. 7 p.m. Friday, Saturday and Thursday; 3 p.m. Sunday at Cyrano's location in East Anchorage, 3800 DeBarr Road (where Out North used to be). $25 general admission, $23 for students, military and seniors. (tickets.centertix.com)
Seward Music and Arts Festival
Summer festival season is done, but there's one last-music fest to tide us over. The Moosefits, Blackwater Railroad Company, The Hannah Yoter Band and Barcelona Boys Choir are just a few of the more than 20 acts playing this year's Seward Music and Arts Festival. There is also an abundance of art to be bought, from salmon leather skin wallets to Arctic-themed dog collars. Food choices include Hawaiian shave ice, crepes and smoked black cod dip. 5 p.m.-12:30 a.m. Friday; 12 p.m.-12:30 a.m. Saturday; 12-5 p.m. Sunday, Dale R. Lindsey Alaska Railroad Intermodal Facility, 913 Port Ave. $15 for Friday-Saturday, $5 for Sunday. (sewardfestival.com)
The Ballroom Thieves
The Boston-based trio has been compared to the Avett Brothers. They'll folk-rock Anchorage with a little help from the South High School orchestra. The Ballroom Thieves released their debut album, "A Wolf in the Doorway," in 2015. Their latest album is last year's "Deadeye." 7:30 p.m. Friday, Discovery Theatre, 621 W. Sixth Ave. $40.25, $48, $54.75. (tickets.centertix.com)
Anchorage Symphony opener
Ring in the Anchorage Symphony Orchestra's new season with Brahms, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky and piano star Sean Chen, the winner of the 2013 American Pianists Awards. 8 p.m. Saturday, Atwood Concert Hall, 621 W. Sixth Ave. $27-$52. (tickets.centertix.com)
KFAT Comedy Jam featuring Carole Montgomery
Veteran stand-up comedian Carole Montgomery will riff on her wannabe Peter Pan husband, living with her mother-in-law and more. Montgomery has performed in Las Vegas and on a slew of shows, including "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" and "The Oprah Winfrey Show." 6:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Friday, Hard Rock Cafe, 415 E St. $15 in advance, $20 on day of show. (bit.ly/comedyjamcarole, 907-351-9516)
Grandmothers (I Come As One, But I Stand As Ten Thousand)
Native American artist Wendy Red Star presents a series of photographs celebrating the women of Montana's Crow Nation. Now through Nov. 22. Kimura Gallery, UAA Fine Arts Building, 3700 Alumni Drive. Free. (uaa.alaska.edu)