Q: I've been extremely successful in my career. As a result, five co-workers who once worked alongside me now work under me. Two of them have trouble with the idea that I'm their supervisor. Even worse, my former supervisor now works for me, too.
She critiques me regularly, both to my face and behind my back. She also cozies up to anyone who's at all upset with me because I won't give them something they want — time off, a raise or a chance to work from home. While I'm tired of her critiquing, I have sympathy for her. Unfortunately for her and for me, she doesn't have good work habits and I'm in the unhappy position of having to fire her.
I know she's going to say it's because I'm threatened by her, when the problem is she's not doing her job well, and as a complication, she wants mine. Any suggestions?
A: Given her judgmental attitude, interest in stirring the pot and the likelihood she may allege wrongful termination, make sure you have a solid case before you schedule her termination.
Start by taking a hard look at your own behavior. Given that you have three individuals with issues concerning you as a supervisor, ask yourself if you own some of this problem. Those who move into supervision occasionally abuse their power, assuming others need to take their orders "because they're the supervisor." This "I'm the boss" position rarely works.
On the other hand, you may be too accommodating. From what you've said, your former supervisor positions herself as a leader of the disenfranchised and seeks every opportunity to verbally slam you and create drama. By letting her get away with it, you may have allowed her to poison your work environment.
Next, make sure you compile sufficient documentation concerning her problematic work habits to convince a neutral third party she deserves termination. Ask a second person to sit in on the termination interview so you have a witness to what was said and not said. Keep what you say brief and don't get drawn into an argument, regardless of what your employee says as she may be recording every word.
Finally, you're not firing her — she's firing herself.
Q: I'm generally cautious about who I friend on Facebook, because I want them to be a genuine friend. I said "yes," however, when a co-worker I like and considered a work friend asked me to friend her.
I didn't realize at the time that she was a Facebook "power user" who shares others' stories to her own network of more than a thousand individuals. This morning when I opened my feed, I learned that a very personal story I'd intended only to share with those I'd friended had been distributed to her network, including most of my co-workers.
I can unfriend her, which I've already done, but what do I do about the fact that most of my co-workers now know way too much about me? Do I ask them one by one not to share it? Or does that make it an even bigger deal?
A: That depends on the story and your co-workers. Given the deluge of information Facebook power users send out, many of your co-workers may not have seen the story, and others may have read but already forgotten it. Those who found it intriguing, however, may feel it's public and think they have right to further distribute it.
Human resources director Robert Lindstrom notes that "many employees share way too much personal information and then get upset with those who repeat it" and adds that social media has increased this problem exponentially. He suggests you think hard before you again share personal information on Facebook you don't want repeated, or at least preface your post with, "Please, don't share this beyond my page — this is personal for those I consider my friends."
Lindstrom cautions against going to your co-workers and asking them not to repeat what they've learned, noting that this "puts the spotlight on you and what you've shared." If, however, you want to test the situation, choose two co-workers you trust and ask them to delete the story from their feeds. If they tell you they overlooked it, or that they viewed it as personal and wouldn't dream of passing it on, you can rest more easily.
Finally, you've learned an important, painful social media lesson. Once you place information on social media, you lose control.