Q: I work in a fast food restaurant. All of us need our jobs.
My coworker, one of the hardest workers in the restaurant, is about to lose her job through no fault of her own. Her former significant other comes into the restaurant and harasses her. Our immediate supervisor doesn't care that it's not my coworker's fault. He says our customers don't want their meals disrupted and that he'll fire my coworker if her former friend comes in and makes trouble one more time.
What the heck is she supposed to do? She can't control her former friend and does absolutely nothing to encourage him. This is so unfair, I can't stand it. What should my employer do? I thought employers were supposed to provide employees a safe haven in which they could work without being harassed.
A: Many employers stand by their employees. Your employer could do that by doing what many restaurants do: refusing the disruptive individual service and calling the police if he won't leave. Although customers might be temporarily disturbed, they'll realize the problem is the individual attempting to harass your coworker. Your restaurant can even give this individual a "no trespass" letter.
Your coworker can make this easier for her employer by getting a restraining order against this person, which might protect her outside the restaurant as well. You can help her by providing a witness statement for any incidents you've seen, as well as attesting to the cost your coworker might suffer if she doesn't obtain the order. Then, if her former friend comes into the restaurant, she can call the police.
Other employers do what your supervisor threatens. They place employees already victimized in double jeopardy, threatening job loss to an individual already suffering from harassment or domestic violence. Fortunately, an increasing number of states, including New York, Oregon and Illinois, have statutes prohibit employer discrimination against domestic violence victims.
While Alaska current lacks this specific statute, if your supervisor fires your coworker, she may have protection under a "wrongful discharge in violation of public policy" claim. She and an attorney can base a public policy "cause of action" on Alaska's strong public policy statute in support of victims and survivors of crime. In a case similar to this, when Memorial Press Group fired an employee for taking a day off work to change the locks on her house and get a protective order against a man harassing her, they wound up in court.
Next, if your restaurant is a part of a chain of stores, you or your coworker can reach out to your corporate HR. While employees often view their supervisors as having the final word, your company may have personnel policies that provide employee support and your corporate HR person can let your supervisor know he can't fire your coworker for a situation outside her control.
Q: When I started working at my company a year ago, I was a reasonably confident individual who loved my work. From day one, my manager tore me apart. When I ask him questions, he says things like, "I thought even a third grader knew how to do that." He criticizes my clothes, appearance and weight. He asks me to stand in front of his desk when he reviews documents I turn in. If he catches a mistake early in a document, he tosses it in the trash and says, "Do over" and without even looking at the rest of the document.
At first, I tried to handle this by behaving professionally, thinking I could prove myself to him by doing good work. Also, my dad was like him and so I guess I thought putting up with him was just what I had to do. Some weeks ago, I went to HR but when I tried to explain what was happening, I didn't make a good impression. Then, when she asked, "these are all small things, have you tried talking with him?" The question made me feel like a loser and wonder if I've been making a big deal out of nothing. I started to cry and said "no." I don't know where to go from here.
A: Like many individuals who work with someone who treats them poorly, you put up with bad behavior for too long. When you finally reached out to HR, you lacked the confidence you needed to handle her questioning.
As is true in your case, those who allow poor treatment to continue often have had a past that makes leads them to stay enmeshed in a problematic situation. I encourage you to go back to HR and say "these are not small things." Because they're not. He treats you poorly and no employee deserves constant putdowns.
In other words, stand up for yourself. If you do so, you win. Because even if your HR officer doesn't get it, you will know you stood up for yourself. And that's winning.