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Wayne and Wanda: Resolve to make your relationships happier in 2016

  • Author: Wayne
    , Wanda
  • Updated: September 30, 2016
  • Published December 30, 2015

This week, Wayne and Wanda will ring in the new year by wringing out some common love and relationship resolutions. Whether your goal is to be a better lover or partner, or find a partner to love, consider kicking off 2016 by resolving to be thoughtful about your resolutions and your actions.

Resolution 1: I will not try to reconnect with my ex(es).

Wanda says:

Approach this on a case-by-case basis. Most exes are exes for a reason and boozy texts and booty calls are usually regrettable. But every now and then, a person comes along who deserves a second or even third chance.

Wayne says:

Third time's the charm, eh, Wanda? More like three strikes and you're out! Ask yourself: Are you reaching out to this ex because you really think things can work (this time!) or are you reaching out to them because you are lonely/bored/horny? No harm in trying to work on something that could be a life-changer, but sometimes it's best to move on and let others move on, too. Be honest with yourself about what you really need.

Resolution 2: I will spend more quality time with my partner.

Wanda says:

Translation: Put down the phone. These days, when we are with friends and partners, we spend more time texting and staring at tiny screens than we do looking at the human sitting beside us. Being more intentionally present in the moment will in turn enhance the quality of your relationships.

Wayne says:

Oh, hold on one second, Wanda -- I need to send this killer meme to my bros. Got 'em! Yes, there are so many distractions in life these days, but this is a resolution that all couples should commit to every year, if not every day, if they want a long, strong and connected relationship.

Resolution 3: I will not have meaningless hookups when I really want a relationship.

Wanda says:

Yeah, want a boyfriend? A wife? A life partner? Then don't take home the free-spirited flirt with whom you have nothing in common except common physical needs. It might make for a fun night, but it won't get your anywhere nearer to Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Wayne says:

To Tinder or not to Tinder? That is the question. Well, not really, but I do feel like you can take care of your immediate needs (hookups) while working on your long-term goals (a partner). But as Wanda warns, don't let your bedding desires distract from your wedding ambitions.

Resolution 4: I will not be in a relationship if what I really want is meaningless hookups.

Wanda says:

It's so easy to cheat these days, thanks to modern technology. And while clandestine affairs can provide a sexual thrill, they also guarantee heartbreak and anguish when one's betrayal is discovered. Want to have lots of sex with lots of people? Go for it! Just do it as a single person.

Wayne says:

There's a special place on the Internet for cheaters -- like the public-shaming database for Ashley Madison users. I don't care what year it is: Cheating is never in style. If you're miserable in your relationship, work on it or quit on it -- just don't drag others into it.

Resolution 5: I will try online dating.

Wanda says:

Online dating isn't for everyone, and like real dating, it takes time. It can work, but only if you are open-minded, honest and committed to potentially going on a lot of dud first dates.

Wayne says:

For relationship-seeking singles, it's a jungle out there. Some folks can negotiate it with a machete (dogged determination), while others need an Indiana Jones (online dating) guiding the way. Whatever approach works best for you, go for it. Just watch out for slimy things and don't forget your bug repellent.

Resolution 6: I will communicate my needs to my partner.

Wanda says:

The thing about communication is that it's a two-way street. While half is accomplished by sharing, the other half -- and the only way it's successful -- is by listening. So while explaining one's needs, fears and hopes with a partner is important, it is just as important to ask them to share, too.

Wayne says:

Yes! Yes! Yes! Communicate! Tell them how you feel! Express what you need! Scream when they hit that sweet spot ­… you know, from the bakery! If you're going to commit time and energy into a partnership, you might as well go all in, right? That means communication, even if it's tough at times.

What romance resolutions are you making this year? How did you do with last year's? Start the new year with a clean slate by telling Wanda and Wayne all about it.

Want to respond to a recent column, point out a dating trend, or ask Wanda and Wayne for wisdom regarding your love life? Give them a shout at wanda@alaskadispatch.com.

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