Bigfoot has been caught after days of terrorizing the Internet and quite possibly scaring the bejeezus out of little old ladies and unsuspecting kids in the soggy Southeast Alaska town of Ketchikan, sources revealed over the weekend. Sasquatch was found -- where else? -- at a bar, enjoying a cold beer after a few days on the loose in the misty rainforests down around those parts.
A Ketchikan man emailed Dispatch that he'd heard tales that Mr. Foot stopped in for a sudsy cold one at none other than the Arctic Bar & Liquor Store on Water Street.
"It was about 40 yards from the road!" the user Putua76 posted on YouTube. "Not sure if it knew I was there or not, because the noise of flowing water from the stream. It seemed to travel fast! It made my hair stand up!!"
That particular vision of the ape-like cryptid said to haunt the Pacific Northwest for generations was actually someone dressed up in a costume (and on stilts), according to Bob Weinstein, who lives in Ketchikan, Alaska's most southerly city and the state's fifth most populated.
The legendary Wild Booger of the North might also be a corporate gimmick, Weinstein suggested, noting that some sort of weird, white inflatable dome had been lately thrown up near one of Ketchikan's cruise ship berths.
The cruise ship industry had devised some strange "entertainment" and Weinstein said he wouldn't be surprised if old Booger wasn't part of the plan to peddle Alaskana--for a premium.
Perhaps so, perhaps not.
Bigfoot has been thought to live along the North American Pacific coast for a long time, although most detectives would tell you Ketchikan's a bit far north for him to be roaming about. Most sightings originate between northern California and Puget Sound. For more Alaska Bigfoot sightings, checkout the database at the Bigfoot Field Researchers.
At any rate, his (or her) legend certainly predates any of the commercial cruise lines like Holland America or Princess that have been calling on Ketchikan the last couple of decades.
"He's got nothing to do with the Arctic other than he's visiting like many others" this time of year, Weinstein said, referring to the bar, not the region, though both might hold true.
Contact Eric Christopher Adams at eric(at)alaskadispatch.com