The Alaska reality TV drought is over. As Johnny Horton might have sung, when it's springtime in Alaska, there are 40 TV shows. "Bering Sea Gold," "Yukon Men," "The Last Alaskans" and "Deadliest Catch" are all airing new episodes on Discovery Channel. It's surprising that Discovery hasn't launched a completely separate Alaska Channel, because they have plenty of content to fill their programming 24/7.
There is also a new show called "Alaska's Wild Gourmet" on the Outdoor Channel that follows a family catering business around Kodiak. In each episode, the incredibly hip-looking Ewing family goes on exciting adventures to harvest the ingredients they need to cook decadent meals for hunters, surfers, etc. If this sounds exactly like "Alaska Proof" but with food instead of vodka, that's because it is exactly like "Alaska Proof" but with food instead of vodka.
On "Bering Sea Gold" this season, Zeke has gone corporate for a Texas company, Blue Water Gold. You know it's corporate because he's got his name written on a locker and there is a TV on the dredge. Unsurprisingly, he and Emily have a heated conversation because he didn't want to be a diver on her dredge and he is now working for "the man."
You can't blame Zeke, because in the first two episodes of the season, Emily's dredge started sinking because of a broken pontoon, had a communication system failure that led her pulling her diver up by the hose that gives him oxygen, and a broken sluice box that led to some of their gold falling back into the ocean. Emily's dredge is like a Pinterest project gone wrong, while Zeke's dredge has TV. Not even a contest.
Meanwhile, the fighting Kelly boys almost took off Brad's (the father's) porch trying to move their boat to their new claims outside of town. This of course leads to a fight among everyone, including Brad's new wife, because all the Kelly boys do is fight. But it also led to this exchange between brothers about Brad's wife:
Brother 1: She's my stepmom now, but she's, like, 10 years younger than I am.
Brother 2: Brady Bunch has nothing on us.
I expect big things from this family this season.
Finally, I think the only network known for reality television that has not aired an Alaska program at this point is Bravo. Bravo is the network that has brought us endless hours of fighting, drinking housewives and some brilliant shows about young and messy yacht workers, servers and socialites. To be fair to Bravo, they did send the "Top Chef" contestants to Juneau a few seasons ago, but that's not enough. I hope they get on the bandwagon with a show about cruise ship workers in Alaska. If you work for the Bravo programming department, give me a call. I have ideas.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many new shows are airing because without new episodes of "Alaskan Bush People," my Tivo still feels strangely empty.
Emily Fehrenbacher lives in Anchorage, where she reviews Alaska reality TV. You can reach her at realitycheck@alaskadispatch.com or on Twitter @ETFBacher.