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Opinions

The Alaska Stalker

By Allison Hovanec
Updated: July 13, 2019 Published: July 12, 2019

Note: Starting this week, the Daily News is publishing the weekly Alaska Stalker column in partnership with Alaska Landmine.

Welcome to this week’s edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted roundup of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape and political gossip.

Although it is against official Alaska Stalker policy to apologize, we’d like to issue our first formal Stalker apology to KTUU for making fun of their Friday forecast last week. Turns out, it was completely accurate. 🌡️🔥🔥

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What’s an Alaska heat wave without a little #fakenews to go with it? Hat tip to House Republican Press Secretary Zach Freeman for this find.

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Senator Lisa Murkowski’s been out there educating folks on Alaska’s lack of central air.

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A big Stalker thank you to KWHL’s Bob Lester for doing a Facebook Live tutorial on how to make a hillbilly air conditioner. Lives were saved.

Making a hillbilly air conditioner on Kwhale.

Posted by Bob Lester on Tuesday, July 9, 2019

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We were all House Majority Press Secretary Austin Baird’s cat last week. Hot you were, Yoda.

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Down on the Kenai, Representative Gary Knopp was so hot he volunteered for the dunk tank.

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A perfect hot day activity... OMG. Did Representative DeLena Johnson dunk Gary?!

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Up in the Valley, it was in the high 80s! Former Representative Lynn Gattis was unable to cool down and very concerned with the “tinder dry conditions.”

I’m also very concerned with the condition of Tinder.

#

I mean, I’m married, but is this really the type of photos people are sharing on dating sites these days? And we wonder why birth rates are at record lows...

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With record wildfires burning across Alaska we might need to rethink our smokefree promise to tourists. 😥

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In Anchorage there have been several small fires in the past couple weeks. The 25-acre MLK fire was reported to have been “human caused.” While fire officials haven’t yet named a specific cause, they have ruled out... volcanoes??? I would lava to hear more about what caused the fire, not knowing is magma me crazy! Sorry guys, you can’t force a volcano pun. A volcano pun should flow. 🙃

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My biggest takeaway from Anchorage Assemblyman Felix Rivera’s response to the multiple “human caused” fires in his district is, if anyone runs against him, they’ll win.

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You guys, I think I may have discovered congressional candidate Alyse Galvin’s secret Reddit account. 😉

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Dr. Al Gross has officially filed to run for U.S. Senate against Senator Dan Sullivan. Has anyone asked him about the time he fought a grizzly bear!? I need to know more.

Wait a second 🤔 Last week Al had fought one grizzly. This week it’s MULTIPLE GRIZZLY BEARS? Is anyone in the media going to challenge him on this serious flip flop? We deserve to know the truth.

While he may not #saveourstate, Governor Mike Dunleavy did save our State Fair. Cheers to that. 🍻

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A Stalker shout out to the tipster who sent us this. Apparently the special session is also a super secret session, too. What do you think the password is?

A: Babcock4ever

B: Prometheus123

C: 3000$PFD

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Very disappointed in Lt. Gov. Kevin Meyer for leaving out an important detail about Lake Iliamna. The #Alaskafact of the week should read, “Alaska’s largest lake is Iliamna Lake which is about 80 miles long and 25 miles wide and home to the infamous and well documented Lake Iliamna monster.” Not good, Kevin.

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Tempers are running high and bad decisions are being made online, on both the left and right. First there’s this pretty awful incitement to violence from “Oli Via,” a former staffer to Senator (then Representative) Scott Kawasaki and recent protest participant at Wasilla Middle School. This is a friendly Stalker reminder that violence is never OK, even if you’re on the left.

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And then there's Representative and Minority "Leader" Lance Pruitt. Here are photos of Lance laughing at protesters with House Republican Press Secretary, Zach Freeman, and taking selfies meant to mock the protesters at Wasilla Middle School. There is a way to handle protesters, who have every right to be there, but this isn't it. I cannot get over how utterly unbecoming of an elected official this is. How does his campaign jingle go again?

🎶Lance Pruitt, he blew it

What a jerk maneuver. 🎶

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Then Press Secretary Freeman updated his Facebook profile to this. That is until one of the protesters filed a citizen’s complaint with Wasilla police against him. He changed his photo back to something “maintaining decorum” real fast.

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Deep breath. After this week, we all need a cuteness break. Thanks Representative Ivy Spohnholz for the reminder. Does “Iris’s dog” have a name? We also love the very Alaskan ATV doggy bed. 🐶🐾

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We are aware of several block-happy senators, representatives and assemblymembers. We’re with Senator Scott Kawasaki - this topic is an interesting one… Kudos to Scott for keeping his social media pages “block free.”

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Check out Representative Cathy Tilton going full honey badger and including a link on how to file against her in a letter to constituents. Wow.

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Senator Lora Reinbold took a more passive-aggressive approach and posted this photo of her colleagues, Senators Natasha von Imhof and Chris Birch. 😉

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In a bizarre twist on this season of AK Leg, progressives are stanning hard for Republican Senator Natasha von Imhof after she went after Governor Dunleavy during a floor speech on Tuesday.

Watch Senator von Imhof’s floor speech on the veto override:

Several folks have reached out and asked to view my speech from yesterday's Veto Over-ride floor session. Thank you for asking. Here you go. #akleg

Posted by Senator Natasha von Imhof on Thursday, July 11, 2019

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When the going gets tough, Senator Peter Micciche tenderly brings out his favorite chain saw to let off some steam.

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I think I have some of Peter’s wood chips in my eye. What a wonderful story. Congratulation Hughes family - members new and old. <3

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Over in the House, Representative Sara Rasmussen is really being put to the test as a new legislator.

Stalker pro tip: always push the “See More” button. LOL!

Leave it to Senator Reinbold to not actually read all of the information before overreacting. 🤣🤣🤣

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We almost believe you!

A warm Stalker congratulations to former Representative Les Gara on celebrating 29 years of marriage. Here’s to 29 more years!

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I’m a born and raised South Anchorage gal. But, after seeing this snapshot via Nextdoor of life in South Addition, we are intrigued. We suggest Mayor Ethan check out the kayak post to see if it’s one of his recently stolen kayaks. And, if anyone has more information on the “lemons from heaven,” please email me at akstalker@alaskalandmine.com.

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The election for Juneau Assembly is heating up. So far we’re big fans of Carole Triem’s “Triem Team” tagline for her campaign.

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Cue every Alaskan’s heart bursting with pride. I know we’ve all seen it a thousand times, but in case you haven’t watched them win gold in the past week, here’s a link.

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As many of you know, there was a high-energy free concert -- I mean political rally -- this week with Portugal. The Man. The Alaska Landmine covered it here. Our favorite part was the story and video of how Malie D. from KGOT ended up leading everyone singing the Alaska Flag song. Unlike some band I know, she actually lives here and knows the lyrics. 💁‍♀️

Now, we all have political opinions, but I really wanna talk about this moment cause it was SO unexpected and SO moving for me... so bare with me, please! Here’s some backstory: I arrive at the rally late. I can’t find anyone I’m supposed to be with because there are SO many people there... so I’m wandering around looking for Cassie and my group for a solid 10 minutes until I finally spot them. Portugal. The Man is playing the first song of their last set. I’m loving it, the energy, everything, right?? I hear Casey say, “you need to go up and sing the Alaska Flag Song”...... 😂😂😂 Uhhh... no. I legit said no! Then he looked at me and DARED ME..... I still said “psh nooo”. Then the lovely, sweet Bree Brophy Bieber looks me dead in the eyes and menacingly** declares, “I TRIPLE DOG dare you.” I feel like I stared at the two of them for an hour 😂 NO ONE has triple dog dared me to do something in YEARS..... and it’s one of the few things from childhood that I still deem sacred. “Just go up and ask” “Find the guy in charge” “Go talk to the band” “Dare you” Guys, I’ve never been more thankful for peer pressure. I really only stared at them for a second or two and then I steeled my resolve, shrugged and said “ok”, and marched up to the stage. I haven’t done something so impulsive in a MINUTE. My adrenaline was pumping. I thought for SURE they were going to kick me out or something 😂 It turns out that the hosts of the rally had been getting requests for the song. They even asked the band if they knew it but they said not well enough. So..... they let me 😳 It’s not my song. I didn’t write it, I didn’t release it, I didn’t produce it, it’s not my song. It’s Alaska’s song. But I tell you what... I had my “best concert” moment. This SEA of thousands of people started singing. They were holding their signs and their flags and waving them in the air. People were swaying and singing. And I FELT IT. The only other time I’ve ever felt so validated as a singer was on American Idol. I gotta tell you...... this moment might have been better. Thank you, to everyone, for taking a chance on a random girl asking to sing a song in front of a big crowd. They didn’t know me or my voice, but they KNEW that we had to go out with a bang. I’m so proud of myself for taking a risk and seriously humbled at the same time. I’m still riding the high that this simple, random moment gave me. No matter what political party you’re in, no matter your views, we are ALASKANS before anything else, and WE ARE PROUD. #Override ** - okay so not necessarily “menacingly” but you know what I mean. It was an INTENSE dare 😂

Posted by Malie Delgado on Wednesday, July 10, 2019

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Spotted at Koots: Budget Director Donna Arduin dancing to ska at a Nervis Rex show. According to our tipster, “She’s a really good dancer.”

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Spotted on the Anchorage Hillside: “A UA Strong” yard sign.

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Spotted at Hearth Pizza after the Save our State Rally: State House candidate Liz Snyder.

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Spotted on Channel 2 news: THE MAN IS BACK! Welcome home, Charlie Sokaitis.

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Overheard downtown Anchorage: If Andrew Halcro and Senator Natasha von Imhof are in the same room, then who’s the smartest person in the room?

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Overheard in Juneau: “Mia is M.I.A.”

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Overheard by a legislator: “I do appreciate how disingenuous Tammie Wilson can be.”

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Overheard on the airwaves:

Dan Fagan mistakenly calling Anchorage Mayor Ethan Berkowitz "Governor" Berkowitz.

Ethan: “Not yet!” 👀

The views expressed here are the writer’s and are not necessarily endorsed by the Anchorage Daily News, which welcomes a broad range of viewpoints. To submit a piece for consideration, email commentary(at)adn.com. Send submissions shorter than 200 words to letters@adn.com or click here to submit via any web browser. Read our full guidelines for letters and commentaries here.

Allison Hovanec

Allison Hovanec writes the weekly Alaska Stalker feature for Alaska Landmine and the Daily News. She was born and raised in Alaska, and lives in South Anchorage with her husband, daughter, and son.

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