Good news and bad news came via television and the Internet for the irrepressible Palins of Wasilla over the long holiday weekend. First the good news: Former half-term Alaska governor and failed Republican vice-president candidate Sarah, the family's shining star, is faster than a speeding Wisconsin politician, i.e. one Paul Ryan. Ryan has taken the place of Palin on the Republican presidential ticket this time around.
And last week he got caught telling one of those stupid, little lies politicians tell. Ryan claimed to have run a sub-three-hour marathon, a notable benchmark of sorts for serious runners. The magazine Runner's World, unfortunately for Ryan, went fact checking.
As it turned out, he was fudging the truth by more than an hour. Runner's World reported the news on Friday, which led to a weekend of media commentary on the things politicians do, and the revelation that Sarah could run him down, at least on the roads.
Sarah's marathon personal record, PR as runner's say, is 3 hours, 59 minutes. Ryan's actual PR, truth be told, was 4 hours, 1 minutes and 25 seconds. As they say, "Alaska Girls Kick Ass.''
As for Alaska men, well, there's bad news. Enter Todd Palin, former "First Dude'' to the governor, championship snowmachine racer and all around Alaska man, which means he is supposed to be good with a gun.
Only he wasn't. He got shot off the season finale of the reality show "Stars Earn Stripes'' on Monday by Olympian Picabo Street. The man other contestants nicknamed Rambo bested by a former downhill skier in a shootout? Here's how one of the websites still tracking the show reported it:
"Todd's poor shooting tonight -- nerves, perhaps? Todd has remained cool and a good shot in the past, so this one was baffling. In the end of this elimination mission, it was Todd who could not beat Picabo in the elimination shootout (guess her motivation was still going), so he was sent packing."
Maybe the good news for Todd was that few people watched. The show was third in its time slot behind Fox's "Hell's Kitchen,'' and CBS's "2 Broke Girls.'' Those two shows combined pulled in about 13 million viewers, which left just but 3 million to watch Stars.
Hopefully none of his snowmachine racing buddies were among them. A guy in Alaska could take a load of crap for losing a shootout to a woman from Outside. Could Todd have caught a case of "buck fever"?
Contact Craig Medred at craig(at)alaskadispatch.com