While we reflect on the embarrassing 34-vote initiative "victory" racked up by forces opposing development of the Pebble Prospect in faraway Lake and Peninsula Borough, let me say this: The fight is only starting, and I'm available.
Those who fought Pebble played rough, and I say that as somebody who has covered elections in the South where slander involving live boys, dead girls and farm animals are routine fare. The anti-Pebble bunch led by rich guy Bob Gillam eked out a 280-246 "win" after claiming almost everybody, everywhere hated Pebble. The truth must have stung.
Gilliam stayed in the shadows, his wealth buying anonymity. The Occupy Anchorage loonies proved that. They did not protest at Gillam's fat-cat McKinley Capital Management firm. They chose, instead, Key Bank -- a who-cares, Cleveland-based institution. Good grief. Gillam is a guy who epitomizes what the whiners profess to detest. They should call their "movement" Occupy a Clue.
Why does Gillam care about Pebble? He has a huge house -- it's not a lodge, his flack says -- in the Lake Clark National Park and Preserve, 25 beautiful miles from Pebble. I call it the Fish Palace. It's far enough away that Sarah Palin cannot see it from her house -- or Gillam's.
The anti-Pebble fray seems focused on ensuring Gillam's fishing pals are not pestered by indications of economic growth in one of the state's poorest regions. The Pebble prospect is rich with gold, copper and molybdenum -- and maybe 1,000 jobs. Backers wonder: What's not to like? But Gillam's new ordinance gives the borough final say on any large project in its jurisdiction -- read Pebble -- that does anything to a salmon stream.
Observers believe Gillam is plotting another Long March to derail Pebble before its owners can apply for its first permit, even as they and the state head back to court to determine who has constitutional authority over Alaska's natural resources -- 34 nice folks in a far-flung borough, or the state. Guess how that is going to turn out?.
Me? I'm just trying to shill for a rich guy. Gillam's spent boatloads of cash -- about 500 Gs in this past election alone -- for zip. A 34-vote spread. Two sneezes, a cough and a dose of bad Tex-Mex, and he could have lost. So, I offer my services.
I'm professional, experienced and can be bought, but I'm not cheap. I'm a card-carrying member of Shills International Local 676 -- a master shill, actually. It's like being in the AFL-CIO. I joined the local, as I mentioned in the Anchorage Daily Planet, because I'm regularly accused of shilling for Big Oil, or Bill Allen, or Veco, or Republicans. Add to that, now, the Pebble Partnership.
Isn't it time, I wondered, that shilling paid off? Unlike some religious organizations, I will not try to leverage my new-found Pebble fervor into my very own church. A fat check every week and we're in business.
Then, it's a fight to the death. First, we tell the media anything that pops into our heads. Pebble will destroy not just fisherpeople (is that what we're calling them now?) and babies, but also North America's wolves, bears and eagles. Moose and caribou too. People will starve. "Here," I'll say, sobbing, handing a reporter a Lhasa apso wearing little reindeer antlers, "This used to be a wolverine. Now, look."
I'll blame Pebble on Bush. I'll warn of global warming. Miners will be raping, drinking, pillaging, I'll say. And I'll tell them -- it sounded dumb when Gillam's bunch said it, but what the heck -- if we don't stop these fiends, monstrous earthen dams full of radioactive waste will collapse, killing us all.
There is, of course, an excellent chance the truth again will screw up the works and I'll get stuck with a Lhasa apso, but that's the chance you take.
Just from my perspective, Gillam et al. would save dough by just helping the borough prepare for the future and working with the Pebble Partnership to ensure the development is clean and successful, but then I'd be out of a job, if I ever get it to begin with.
I did, after all, call the Fish Palace a lodge, perhaps once too often.
Paul Jenkins is editor of the AnchorageDailyPlanet.com. The Planet's parent corporation, Porcaro Communications, has contractual relationships with numerous organizations and businesses supporting the mining industry, including "Defend Your Rights, Vote No on the Save our Salmon Initiative."
PAUL JENKINS
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