DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two overused phrases bother me:
1. “That’s a great question.”
The first time someone said that to me, I thought I must be clever. Now, that phrase is so overused, it’s just filler until they can come up with a response. Perhaps when they do, I should say, “That’s a great answer!”
Another comment used too often:
2. “Perfect.”
Used to be, there was a perfect sunset or a perfect storm or something you created turned out perfect -- or when Murphy’s law was ruling my life, and anything that could go wrong did, I’d mutter, “Perfect.”
Now, if you can recite your account number correctly, the response is “Perfect!”
And don’t get me started on the requirement for customer service reps to be “chirpy.” I’ll take one who is friendly, professional and knowledgeable over chirpy any day.
GENTLE READER: That the stalling technique has become commonplace disappoints Miss Manners. She had been thinking what a nice ruse it was. Not that she has ever had to use it.
And “perfect” is one of several unwarranted superlatives in common use. Miss Manners finds “amazing” and “incredible” even more annoying when applied to unsurprising, perfectly believable actions.
So it is with some understanding that she asks you to tolerate these common usages. You will probably get more sympathy from the language department.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am soon to host a semiformal dinner -- and no, I don’t know exactly what that means (I was kind of roped into it). I plan to have hors d’oeuvres, soup, salad, a main course, dessert and coffee.
I don’t know what order to serve the dishes in. I really don’t think the soup and salad should be served one after the other, but can’t say why. Can Miss Manners please advise?
GENTLE READER: Your instinct about this is better than your experience.
Indeed, many people now serve salad before the main course, and argue that it is better to fill up on that than on the protein and carbohydrates that follow. (And yet they eat those, anyway.)
Traditionally, the salad follows the main course, but restaurants generally serve salad first, and people have come to believe that the practices of restaurants represent the best service.
They fail to realize that restaurants have to work around problems that private households do not. For instance: You know what you will serve, but restaurants can only guess which of their choices will be ordered by their clients -- who are hungry, or they wouldn’t be there. So restaurants stave them off with bread and salads until their orders are ready.
Miss Manners thanks you for calling the main course a main course, not an entree. An entree is a course served between the first and main ones. In violation of her own plea, above, to tolerate common usage, she is annoyed at the misuse of this term.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When someone gives you a gift, what do you do?
GENTLE READER: Offer thanks and refrain from mentioning that it is not to your taste -- and that anyway, you already have one.