JUNEAU - The Alaska Legislature has applied any number of verbal responses to what members have termed President Barack Obama's "federal overreach" in the past week, as they describe his moves to limit oil and gas exploration in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and in the waters off Alaska's coast.
But on Friday, Sen. Click Bishop, R-Fairbanks, reached for a heretofore untapped weapon that the state's elected officials have so far left sitting in their arsenal: a nursery rhyme.
On the Senate floor, Bishop read from an adapted version of a Dr. Seuss book, Green Eggs and Ham, titled "Click on Uncle Sam." The text is below:
I am Click.
Click I am.
I do not like this federal plan.
I do not like it Uncle Sam.
Do I like to hunt and fish?
And put my moose meat in a dish?
I do. I like my wild game.
And I like my fish from where it came.
I do not like you in my hair.
Your NPS, they're on a tear.
They're in my camp. They're on my boat.
And they point their Tasers at my throat.
I do not like this federal plan.
I do not like it Uncle Sam.
I do not like your crazy rules.
Like those proposed by Sally Jewell.
I do not like them here or there.
And I do not like them anywhere.
I do not want them near or far.
Not Sally Jewell nor Salazar.
Could you, would you let us drill?
We have the folks. And they have the skill.
We have the oil underground
And we'll leave it nicer than we found.
I do not like your EPA
They've run amok. And they're in the way.
I do not like this federal plan.
I do not like it Uncle Sam.
Would you, could you, just one time?
Let Alaska's miners mine.
They bust their butts, through thick and thin.
And then you send a SWAT team in?
Could you, would you, if you please, let us drill in the Chukchi Sea?
Could you let us please explore that vast potential just offshore?
You couldn't, wouldn't, on a bet, let us get those drill rigs wet.
You bow to greenies, these are facts.
Environmental East Coast whacks.
Would you, could you, on a plane?
Would you, could you, on a train?
Would you, could you, pack your crap?
And hit the road and don't look back?
Just one more thing before I go,
There's something, Uncle, you should know.
The line's been crossed, we've had enough.
You shouldn't really call our bluff.
Cause we Alaskans might seem sweet.
But chances are we're packing heat.