I daydream at traffic lights. I make up stories about the cars and people around me. While visiting Anchorage this week, I found myself doing it again.
A woman who looked a bit like me was behind the wheel of a U-Haul. I imagined that she, like me, had been watching the legislative meltdown and reading headlines about mayoral candidates -- maybe, possibly -- endorsing incestuous, pedophiliac, same-sex marriages, only she'd actually decided to throw her life in a truck and find someplace a little less bat-guano crazy to live. You go, girl.
Yes, the Legislature, not nearly finished with its work, just voted itself a two-week vacation. Juneau is apparently just too noisy for the delicate sensibilities of our legislative king-babies. (Wait until they get to Anchorage and get spotted by one of the roving bands of pitch-fork-wielding citizens who support education, protecting children and expanding health care. I hope they can still run -- and I don't mean for office.)
Then there's mayoral candidate Amy Demboski. Oh. My. God. Demboski has no problem speaking for her opponent, Ethan Berkowitz, on most municipal issues, but she just can't quite decide whether he's actually running on the pro-incest ticket.
The question arises because her ardent supporter, tax-dodging pastor the Rev. Jerry Prevo, said "someone" in his congregation told him Berkowitz supported the marriage of fathers to their adolescent sons.
Demboski, demonstrating more of the maturity and strength of character we've come to associate with her campaign, couldn't quite bring herself to say, "That's ridiculous. Are you nuts?"
Prevo, meanwhile, along with fellow mullah Jim Minnery, has done his best to turn the mayor's race into a referendum on same-sex marriage, as if that was Anchorage's most pressing concern. Prevo acknowledges that he didn't attempt to fact-check the pro-incest accusation before incorporating it into his weekly nonpartisan sermon.
At the next light, despite the gorgeous view of Denali in the distance, I still felt jealous of the U-Haul lady on her way to some new, politically functional state. I agree wholeheartedly with the guy on Twitter who said the governor should put the entire Legislature on a ferry until legislators pull their heads out of their back pockets and do what they were elected to do.
I fantasized about a ferry full of legislators -- the fins of lobbyists slowly cutting the water to port and starboard -- with enough food for a month and no way to get to shore until they figured out that legislating is about compromise, not just blindly following caucus leadership. Would it be kidnapping, I wondered, if in fact it's them holding the state of Alaska hostage?
Two teenage girls in a car beside me were singing their hearts out to some band I've probably never heard of. The biker who had passed me at every stoplight caught up again. I turned off my seat warmer for the first time since October.
It's hard sometimes not to feel beaten. That's when I most feel the gravitational pull of the U-Haul. I hear a lot of people saying, "Throw the bums out!" but they never seem to do it. They re-elect the bums year after year, and in the process fuel this freight train of chaos.
Then I saw something. Of all the cars on C street to stop in front of me, this was the perfect one. A sign. A sign from God or the universe or whatever. A faded and tattered bumper sticker clung to the rust spots and chrome.
"People For Pools."
Heavy sigh. I opened my sunroof and blinked. I looked back at the sticker and smiled. Then I laughed. That's right, I said out loud to my darling Subaru, it's not about the pools, it's about the people.
About 10 years ago, the Anchorage school district relinquished its swimming pools to the municipality. They weren't in good shape. A lot of them were going to be shut down. The people of Anchorage formed a committee to make sure those in power knew that, come hell or high water, the pools would remain open for people.
It happened. I have no idea how many lives were saved because some residents got a little extra exercise or children learned to swim. The people showed up, so the pools still exist.
Folks, let's speak up for our values. Most Alaskans are not rigidly ideological. We want reasonable solutions to real problems. We want Medicaid expanded, and we don't give a rat's patootie whether a majority of the Republican caucus agrees. We want every Alaska child to have access to a good education, the foundation for the rest of their lives. And we want to try to protect them from abusers and predators. Is that really too much to ask?
Here's what I'm hoping you'll do: As soon as he or she gets back from vacation, send your legislator this message:
"Get the job done, now, or you're going to be the bum we throw out."
And mean it.
Shannyn Moore is a radio broadcaster.
The views expressed here are the writer's own and are not necessarily endorsed by Alaska Dispatch News, which welcomes a broad range of viewpoints. To submit a piece for consideration, e-mail commentary(at)alaskadispatch.com