Hey, did you watch the latest episode of "Game of Thrones"?
Oh, and by the way, Hillary Clinton is about to become the first woman ever nominated for president by a major American political party.
Oh my God, that story about the boy and the gorilla! And what about the outrageous price of tickets to "Hamilton"!
Oh, and by the way, Hillary Clinton is about to become … yawn.
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Once upon a time, the news that a woman was poised to be the first woman ever nominated for president by a major American political party might have inspired fireworks and popped corks and dancing in the streets.
In our times, however, the news seems more like an afterthought, extraordinary mostly for how ordinary it seems. What once would have been a historic, whoop-de-do moment feels almost as matter-of-fact as a weather report.
In some ways, that's good. So we may put a woman in charge of the country, like so many countries before us?
Big deal.
We're like the last car manufacturer to figure out that automatic transmission is a swell idea.
Still, we'd be wrong to miss a central fact about Hillary Clinton's current moment: It is historic, dammit.
"I find myself a little wistful that more isn't being made of this moment," said a friend. "The first woman to clinch a major party's nomination for president! I want cheering, huge headlines, hugs, joyful tears."
Once Hillary Clinton is officially nominated by the Democrats, which seems close to inevitable, and if she wins, which is far from certain, the whoops may come. But for now, her rise to this high point has been met with conspicuous restraint, which comes with several explanations.
Americans have had a long time to get used to the idea of a woman as president — at least since 2008, when Clinton ran against Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination.
When she finally bowed out, it was with roughly 18 million primary votes, which she called "18 million cracks" in the "highest, hardest glass ceiling."
We've also had a long time to get to know Hillary Clinton. She has been in our public consciousness for so long — as first lady, U.S. senator, secretary of state — that she lacks the zing of novelty.
If she'd bolted into broad view from out of nowhere, the way Obama seemed to, if she wasn't lugging all that messy baggage of a long publicly lived life, maybe more people would be excited.
Instead, Clinton is like the sun, reliably there, day after day, year after year, astonishing only when you remind yourself to be astonished.
I have another friend who attributes the whoop-de-do shortage to a joy deficit.
"People want to feel joyful about their candidate," she says. "She doesn't inspire joy."
It's true that Clinton's most obvious selling points are competence, stamina, intelligence, experience. She is vintage pewter in a world eager to be dazzled by the flashy and the brassy and the new.
But on some days, Clinton does dazzle, and she deserves a moment in which we're dazzled by this shift in ourselves as a society.
Look, Ma. See how grown up we are. We might elect a lady president!
Only a century ago, American women weren't allowed to vote. Clinton has made her way in a world that slowed women's progress with low ceilings, narrow doorways and stunted paths. Being married to a powerful man may have made it easier, but that doesn't mean it's been easy.
And now that she's so close to breaking through that high, hard ceiling, she'd be wise to keep a few things in mind. My abridged list:
1. Talk to the media. Shutting the media out is like closing the windows of your car with the engine running. It can kill you.
2. Remember that Bill, your ex-president of a husband, is a very strong spice. Use him sparingly, if at all.
3. Be gracious to Bernie Sanders and his supporters. They've helped you think about important things.
4. Make a short list of your accomplishments. In short sentences. Help people understand and remember what you've done.
5. When you're talking about economic insecurity and inequality, don't wear a $12,000 jacket.
Not everyone is ready for a woman as president. Not everyone who is ready wants this woman.
But let's appreciate the moment, not only for what it says about Clinton, but also for what it says about us. We're closer than we've ever been to the once unthinkable, and that's a big deal.
Mary Schmich is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Contact her at mschmich@tribune.com. You can follow her on twitter.com/maryschmich or contact her on facebook.com/maryschmich.