Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah and and Kwanzaa … with New Year's Eve looming too, sometimes it feels like the holiday season will never end! How to stay sane? Sometimes you have to take a step back, chill out, crunch on a candy cane and listen to your favorite holiday tunes (Wayne recommends "Soulful Christmas" by James Brown).
Ultimately, the push and pull of the holiday hustle/bustle is what we make of it. Maybe nonstop cooking, shopping and party hopping are your favorite things. Enjoy! Or maybe you just want to put on your PJs, bake some cookies and watch "Home Alone" on repeat. Also perfectly appropriate.
Hopefully, we find a happy medium where we can enjoy the spirit of the holidays without going insane — or in debt. To help, here are Wanda and Wayne's top five holiday season survival tips. Take them or leave them: We wish you happy holidays either way, no matter which joyful occasions you celebrate!
1. Balance the commitment chaos (friends, family and coworkers) with a healthy dose of partner and solo time.
Wayne: It's so easy for our calendar to fill up with holiday engagements — friends' parties, families' parties, work parties and carving out time for cooking, shopping, decorating and traveling. It might seem a little crazy to say you need to also make time for yourself and your partner, but that's really what's going to help you stay sane. Go to a movie or ski with your boo. Hit the gym, trails or couch by yourself. Even just a half hour of personal time here and there will help you feel happier and healthier as you get back on the grind.
Wanda: My mom reads Dickens' "Christmas Carol" every holiday. It's a nice tradition, not only because it's a classic novel, but because it allows her a break from others, where she can step aside and have some Me Time. For my siblings and I, it was all about ending the evening quietly, leaning over a jigsaw puzzle. It was a meditative yet collaborative activity that gave us a pause after a blur of a day. Find an activity like this where, solo or with those close to you, you can have some space amid the crowded, crazy season.
2. Giving gifts? Respect your partner's wishes — and your credit score.
Wayne: Lots of holidays this time of year entail swapping gifts, and who doesn't like playing Santa? But the reality is that a great deal of our stress comes from present planning, shopping, spending and wrapping. If your partner says they don't want anything big, don't get them anything big! Get them something humble and heartfelt — then get yourself something big with the leftover cash. But really, don't get the spirit of the holidays twisted: It's not about spending quantities of money, it's about spending quality of time.
Wanda: One year, my family decided we would only exchange homemade gifts. Of course, this was my sister-in-law's idea, she who'd never met a Pinterest craft she didn't knock out of the park. We all had to get creative and figure out how to deliver. The result? My knitting needles flew into overdrive, and I'm still not sure what Dad thought of that bulletin board made of wine corks. But it was the thought that counted, and that was the prevailing sentiment at the end of the day. After we'd cross-stitched into carpal tunnel, baked sheets full of cookies and DIY'd until we couldn't DIY anymore, we had one of those aha holiday Grinch moments when we realized gifts aren't about price tags and labels, but about thoughtfulness and care. Remember that when shopping for others; it doesn't have to be expensive to be special.
3. Monitor and regulate the endless expectations of this time of year, especially your own.
Wanda: In the era of Hallmark holiday movies, we get brainwashed into thinking everyone's December ends with sleigh rides and happy endings. But holidays are full of shifting family dynamics and high hopes, and nothing is perfect, even when it's a wonderful life. And speaking of "It's a Wonderful Life," that's a perfect classic to rewatch and remind yourself that even when we're short on cash or irritated by our crazy uncle or fighting the domineering town bully (OK, maybe a stretch), just being alive amid the beauty of the holiday season with people we care about is, in itself, simply wonderful. That's a lesson that transcends all celebrations this time of year.
Wayne: Even my perfect presents aren't perfect due to my imperfect gift-wrapping. And you know what: I don't care! It's the thought that counts, right? When you have that attitude, you won't beat yourself up when you can only find an iCoffee and not the Kuerig she wanted, when you show up an hour late to a party, or when you can only make three side dishes instead of five. And don't get me started on New Year's resolutions. Who even keeps those for more than two months? Give yourself a break.
4. Be on your best behavior at parties.
Wayne: Holiday parties — we can't really avoid them, no matter how bad we might want to. Whether it's a family dinner, office party, ice skating meet-up or New Year's gala, why make a tough experience terrible? It's so easy to have a couple drinks to loosen up, but the next thing you know you're dancing like an overworked reindeer, talking out of the side of your chimney and finding yourself deeply engaged in heated conversations about coworkers/relatives/friends/politics/sports/religion/the debate of whether "Die Hard" is a Christmas movie or not. Be a big kid: Go easy on the spiked eggnog or hot cocoa, remove yourself from conversations you don't want to be in and dance floors you shouldn't be on.
Wanda: While I've never met an intellectual debate I didn't want to dominate, or a dancefloor that wasn't calling my name, Wayne has an excellent point: time and place, people. And holiday parties aren't the locale for pundit posturing or trying to prove that once upon a time, you really could do The Worm. And remember this: It's always OK to decline an invitation. Holidays are busy and an invite isn't a mandate. You're allowed to skip a gathering.
5. Count your blessings and relax — it will all be over soon.
Wayne: Be the beacon of calm during the crazy December and January stretch. Smile at stressed-out strangers. Look around and appreciate how good you really have it. Remember that it's about giving, not getting, so give a little volunteer time or a gift to those in need. When you approach the holidays, and life, with this attitude, you're gonna feel too blessed to be stressed. Happy solstice, and merry Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa everyone!
Want to respond to a recent column, point out a dating trend, or ask Wanda and Wayne for wisdom regarding your love life? Give them a shout at wanda@alaskadispatch.com.