A ROUNDUP . . . Let's revisit a few of the jokey suggestions that floated past Ear on the subject of Ted Stevens' reversal of fortune:
• It's no coincidence that March 31 was the last day to apply for the PFD. Convicted felons can't get PFDs. The feds dropped the charges on April 1. Clearly it was all a plot to deny Ted his dividend check.
• Hey, the Republicans indicted him. The Democrats freed him. Expect Ted to be changing parties soon.
• Nothing that happened changes the central fact of the case: That Girdwood house still looks like crap.
THE FINAL WORD . . . A lot of Alaskans have a lot of reasons to be happy about the outcome of Uncle Ted's travails. Is it selfish of Ear to be happy mostly because it means we'll no longer have to listen to self-righteous bloviating about changing the name of the airport?
KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM . . . Given how his hand played out in recent events, it comes as no surprise that our Kid Senator is a hot poker player.
In a charity Texas Hold 'em tournament for Paralyzed Veterans of America last week at the Hyatt Regency in D.C., the games opened with 125 politicians and celebrities playing. But when the deal narrowed to two finalists, the only players left at the table were Mark Begich and an intern with the Poker Players Alliance.
Mark apparently had a really good night, winning a couple of huge pots on the river card, much to the annoyance of the professional players.
Realizing he couldn't accept the prize -- a $10,000 seat at the World Poker Tournament -- Mark finally went all in with a 10 and five, giving the intern serious bragging rights.
BORED NOW . . . OK. Everyone's gotten a chance to say "na na na na," so can everyone now get down to business and appoint a senator for Juneau?
The Juneau Dems started it, deliberately dissing Sarah by sending her just one name -- the name of someone who publicly called the governor unfit to be VP. Sarah retaliated by naming a ballot loser, thinly qualified for a Senate seat.
The Senate Dems re-retaliated by rejecting Sarah's choice in a 5-4 vote. The only surprise was Al Kookesh casting the deciding fifth vote against Tim Grussendorf (if earwigs have reported the breakdown correctly). That looks like a dangerous act given that Grussendorf's champion was his boss, all-powerful Finance Co-chair Lyman Hoffman.
Whatever. Can we start over now? Juneau Dems have sent Sarah three more names so she can appoint someone who is not Beth Kerttula. Then Beth can run for the seat in 2010 as a "victim" of Sarahcuda and Juneau will elect her in a landslide.
A footnote to this soap opera, say Capitol earmites, is the subtext: Who gets Kim Elton's seat on Finance? Apparently not the new guy, whoever it is. This maneuvering is reportedly driving a lot of the behind-scenes "negotiating" for confirmation votes.
ON THE MOVE . . . This was a tough week at Your Favorite Good Morning Newspaper. Some of our iconic bylines accepted buyouts as part of the industry downsizing. Say good-bye to George Bryson, Tom Kizzia and Wesley Loy, plus photog Stephen Nowers. Jim Lavrakas, whose pictures documented the daily life of Anchorage from the early 1980s, left in the last round.
RADIO MOUTH . . . Rumors that Rick Rydell is leaving Alaska are false, false, false, says Rick. He thinks maybe a new gig writing for the magazines Fish Alaska and Hunt Alaska might have prompted the stories but assured Ear that the grueling four hours a day he spends on his show won't get in the way of the new career.
"When radio is no longer my first choice, I am more likely to run as the true fiscal conservative for governor than I would be to leave the state that I love so much," says Rick.
OOOPS . . . What's one of the things federal prosecutor Brenda Morris reportedly does when she's not prosecuting Ted Stevens? Teaches ethics to the National Association of Latino Elected Officials.
Maybe not so much anymore.
LANDMARKS . . . Mary Louise Rasmuson, dowager queen of the NBA banking family, board member of the eponymous foundation, Col. Mary Louise, head of the U.S. Army WACs in a previous life, turns 98 on April 11. Way to go, MaLo!
FLYING FACTOID . . . Ear was cruising a list of Hawaii judges recently (don't ask), and came across the name of Frank Rothschild, former prosecutor here, who is a now-and-then District Court judge on Kauai. Frank, who was likened to a Greek statue during one of his Anchorage trials because of his height, good looks and the fact that he has one leg, is probably best remembered as the prosecutor in the Robert Hansen serial murder case, solved and sentenced exactly 25 years ago.
WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT . . . Fulfilling a longtime promise to retiring ASD kindergarten teacher Tommy O'Malley, earwigs report Carol Comeau showed up at Scenic Park Elementary School last Friday and danced the Hokey Pokey with the kids. Ear hears Carol did OK.
Compiled by Sheila Toomey. Contact Sheila at stoomey@adn.com. Find Ear online at adn.com/ear.