Well, here’s the announcement you’ve all been waiting for: I’m announcing my candidacy for governor. I know it’s a little early, but when you are in your nineties like me, you tend not to take the future for granted. Heck, I may not be even around for dinner tonight.
Here’s my campaign promise: a triple Permanent Fund dividend for everyone, plus I’ll pay you back for the previous short ones. That’s right — triple dividend plus paybacks. Think how much fun you and your spouse can have with all that moolah. Take that dream vacation you’ve always wanted. Buy that car you never could afford. Go to Vegas. The list is endless. Where’s the money coming from? Same place Gov. Mike Dunleavy was going to get the $6,700. Where’s that? Don’t know, ask Dunleavy. I’ll probably make a few budget reductions too.
As soon as I can scrape up the money, I’ll put an ad in the paper telling you where to send your donations. I don’t have a rich relative in the Lower 48, so I’m depending on you guys. Let’s again elect the governor you deserve!
— Jerry Felton
Anchorage
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