In their opinion piece, “Let’s talk about the realities of adoption,” authors Tami Jo Watson, Victoria Ross, Autumn Smith-Amy, and Kaila Pfister wrote, “While adoption is something to be celebrated in many cases, we must also respectfully acknowledge that there is no adoption that is not based on a loss for the adoptee.” What they omitted was the fact that for an adoption to take place, another family is permanently severed: a mother, a father, grandparents, siblings, and an entire constellation of people are severed from the children in question. In the United States, for a legal adoption to take place, the identity of the children in question is permanently altered through the creation of a new birth certificate. And while “open adoptions” are flaunted as the modern norm, with arrangements between birth and adoptive families, these “agreements” are not legally binding, leaving the first families with no recourse in the event the adoption is closed.
While the authors also say, “Adoption often includes the long-lasting impact of trauma or grief faced by the adoptee earlier in life,” they neglect to mention the alarming statistic that adopted people are four times more likely to attempt suicide than non-adopted and have higher rates of mental health comorbidity.
I encourage people to look past the rainbow and unicorn narrative and acknowledge that adoption is built on a foundation of loss. The need for comprehensive mental health services for all members of the adoption constellation before, during, and after the adoption is finalized should be a priority, including treatment of the infertility trauma many adoptive parents bring with them into adoption, the grief and loss of first families, and the lifelong challenges adopted people face to embrace an identity built on shame, secrecy, and lies.
— Candace Cahill
Denali Park
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