WASHINGTON -- The graying man flashing fury in the Rose Garden on behalf of the Newtown families, the grieving man wiping away tears after speaking at the Boston memorial service, is not the same man who glided into office four years ago.
President Barack Obama has watched the blood-dimmed tide drowning the ceremony of innocence, as Yeats wrote, and he has learned how to emotionally connect with Americans in searing moments, as he did from the White House late Friday night after the second bombing suspect was apprehended in Boston.
Unfortunately, he still has not learned how to govern.
How is it that the president won the argument on gun safety with the public and lost the vote in the Senate? It's because he doesn't know how to work the system. And it's clear now that he doesn't want to learn, or to even hire some clever people who can tell him how to do it or do it for him.
It's unbelievable that with 90 percent of Americans on his side, he could get only 54 votes in the Senate. It was a glaring example of his weakness in using leverage to get what he wants. No one on Capitol Hill is scared of him.
Even House Republicans who had no intention of voting for the gun bill marveled privately that the president could not muster 60 votes in a Senate that his party controls.
Obama thinks he can use emotion to bring pressure on Congress. But that's not how adults with power respond to things. He chooses not to get down in the weeds and pretend he values the stroking and other little things that matter to lawmakers.
After the Newtown massacre, he and his aides hashed it out and decided he would look cold and unsympathetic if he didn't push for some new regulations. To thunderous applause at the State of the Union, the president said, "The families of Newtown deserve a vote." Then, as usual, he took his foot off the gas, lost momentum and confided his pessimism to journalists.
The White House had a defeatist mantra: This is tough. We need to do it. But we're probably going to lose.
When you go into a fight saying you're probably going to lose, you're probably going to lose.
The president once more delegated to the vice president. Couldn't he have come to the Hill himself to lobby with the families and Joe Biden?
The White House should have created a war room full of charts with the names of pols they had to capture, like they had in "The American President." Soaring speeches have their place, but this was about blocking and tackling.
Instead of the pit-bull legislative aides in Aaron Sorkin's movie, Obama has Miguel Rodriguez, an arm-twister so genteel that The Washington Post's Philip Rucker wrote recently that no one in Congress even knows who he is.
The president was oblivious to red-state Democrats facing tough elections. Bring the Alaskan Democrat Mark Begich to the White House residence, hand him a drink, and say, "How can we make this a bill you can vote for and defend?"
Sometimes you must leave the high road and fetch your brass knuckles. Obama should have called Sen. Heidi Heitkamp of North Dakota over to the Oval Office and put on the squeeze: "Heidi, you're brand new and you're going to have a long career. You work with us, we'll work with you. Public opinion is moving fast on this issue. The reason you get a six-year term is so you can have the guts to make tough votes. This is a totally defensible bill back home. It's about background checks, nothing to do with access to guns. Heidi, you're a mother. Think of those little kids dying in schoolrooms."
Obama had to persuade some Republican senators in states that he won in 2012. He should have gone out to Ohio, New Hampshire and Nevada and had big rallies to get the public riled up to put pressure on Rob Portman, Kelly Ayotte and Dean Heller, giving notice that they would pay a price if they spurned him on this.
Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., is one of the few people on the Hill that the president actually considers a friend. Obama wrote a paean to Coburn in the new Time 100 issue, which came out just as Coburn sabotaged his own initial effort to help the bill.
Obama should have pressed his buddy: "Hey, Tom, just this once, why don't you do more than just talk about making an agreement with the Democrats? You're not running again. Do something big."
Couldn't the president have given his Rose Garden speech about the "shameful" actions in Washington before the vote rather than after?
There were ways to get to 60 votes. The White House just had to scratch it out with a real strategy and a never-let-go attitude.
Obama hates selling. He thinks people should just accept the right thing to do. But as Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., noted, senators have their own tough selling job to do back home. "In the end you can really believe in something," he told The Times' Jennifer Steinhauer, "but you have to go sell it."
The president said the Newtown families deserved a vote. But he was setting his sights too low. They deserved a law.
Maureen Dowd is a columnist for The New York Times.
By MAUREEN DOWD