Advice

Dear Annie: I wish my grandkids had better manners

Dear Annie: I have four grandchildren from one son. None of them have ever thanked me for gifts. The last time was a graduation card and necklace. Don’t think it’s too much to ask for them to acknowledge they’ve received the gift. Each one has access to the internet either from a phone, tablet or a laptop. No excuse for ignorance. I blame my son and his girlfriend. Teach your kids manners!

-- I Blame My Son

Dear Blame: Instead of “blaming” your son, why not talk to him and tell him your frustrations and feeling unappreciated? My guess is that he has no idea how hurt you are by their lack of communication.

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Dear Annie: Your answer to “Not Dog Tired Anymore” was great from the human point of view, but not so much from the animals’. I’m an animal behavior consultant and have seen problems arise from inconsistencies such as these. Like children, pets need to have a sense of security about their routines so they can predict their future. Any time we are inconsistent, they lose a little confidence about what happens next. I’d recommend that the owners decide on a routine, whatever it is, and then stick with it.

-- Animal Helper

Dear Animal Helper: Thank you for your letter. A great number of you wrote in with similar comments.

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Dear Annie: “Traveling Days Over,” who thought his vacations were over once he and his wife were “empty nesters” and traveling with his wife alone was stressful, has probably never considered his wife a member of the vacation group. I imagine she has done all the work and planning (and cooking and cleaning) on his vacations so he and his children could have a fun, carefree experience. Now that it is only the two of them, she still has all the dog work to do, and he is getting stressed because she can’t live it up with him and still provide the service he expects. I have been there. Unless he is willing to cough up some dough so they both can relax, or pitch in and help, I believe his vacations as he knew them are over.

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There is another choice! Reconnect with the girl you married -- consider her a playmate instead of a servant! Change like that in an old marriage is hard as people become very territorial and dug in to the way they have always done things, but it is possible! I have been there, too, and I can say the change is well worth it!

I wish them luck. I appreciate your column and your wise and compassionate advice.

-- Empty Nesters Reconnect

Dear Reconnect: What a great idea to try to remember the person that you married and rekindle your flame. Being able to change is part of having a better marriage and understanding of each other.

Annie Lane

Annie Lane offers common-sense solutions to everyday problems. She's firm, funny and sympathetic, echoing the style of her biggest inspiration, Ann Landers. She lives outside Manhattan with her husband, two kids and two dogs. When not writing, she devotes her time to play dates and Play-Doh. Write her: dearannie@creators.com

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